Today I want to be very honest.
I’ve been aware of my journey for almost three years. I needed to make sense of what was going on in my life, why a break up was giving me such a hard time, why I kept crying even after months of being apart, why I kept having dreams about him, why I was unable to move on and I was actually seeing his name everywhere, why I saw him in every guy I tried to date, why my feelings for him weren’t fading away even though I was trying everything I did to get over other guys… I just needed an answer as to why my love for this guy was growing as days passed by. So I used the “lists” to try and make sense to what I was going through. I found myself ticking off almost every single one of what the things stated there. And as I was doing so, I felt terrified. I didn’t want this boy to be my twin soul. I just refused to believe so. I didn’t feel ready, I was scared. I cried countless nights, I was in denial. Then I remembered how I tried to fit the other guys into that “box”.
It took me a very long time to finally realise that he was the love of my life and the label didn’t matter because what I felt, and still feel, for him is bigger than anything I’ve ever felt before. Of course I started reading articles, I tried to see if any other person had the same story or at least said something I could relate to. My DNOS was intense and very long. I cried every day, I felt like I was going to die… But I found comfort in a couple of people I met here, on this platform. My best friend and I stopped talking for six months. It was horrible.
Every time I read about twins not getting back together in the physical, something just didn’t feel right. It didn’t make sense. I read about people who had dreams about their twins prior to meeting them but I honestly had no memories of me dreaming about him, yet I did notice how many boys like him I had met since 2007. I can say that every single boy I met for the next seven years led me to him.
The more I read and actually experienced certain things about this journey, the more I felt scared and I kept trying to just ask God for a normal relationship, just for a boyfriend that I could be happy with. Just something normal. Whenever I saw people asking, begging to find their twins, I would feel sad and would ask myself why would someone be this passionate about finding their twin? I mean, yes, we all want to find our perfect match at some point, we all wish to find that person who’s meant for us. But if I had known it was such a hard journey, I don’t think I would’ve been so eager to find mine. Like I said before, I didn’t feel ready. I was loving myself, accepting myself to the fullest and thats when we met, but I wasn’t actually looking for him. My plan was actually to stay single for a good amount of time is possible.
Anyway, this happened and in the end I accepted this boy was just my other half. I saw myself growing and becoming more aware of everything. I could actually sense him when he was in pain or having a hard time, I could even feel my best friend. I was starting to know when the energy I was feeling was mine or theirs. And my dreams became just more vivid as time went by. I can say that’s my gift. I have dreams. Vivid dreams. I see him and feel him. I see and feel other people and I’m usually right when I had dreams about them doing certain things. I had the strangest synchronicities and I knew, deep inside, they were leading me back to him and of course, leading me back to my true self.
I have never used energetic tools, never did tarot readings or pendulum readings or tried to go back to past lives or anything, hell I never even did chakra clearings or used stones. Nothing. I was relying on my intuition, my faith and the things I could sense or see in my dreams. Of course I had the help of a fellow twin who actually guided me a lot and always listened to what I had to say with patience. Still does.
But then I had my approach to other blogs and other content that claimed to be helpful and could make reunion happen faster while stating physical Union was not the goal. I saw a lot of people offering meditations, courses, readings, healing audios, etc., at insane prices. You see, I’m not against charging for your services, at all. But I think you have to be very reasonable with the prices. When people is desperate, like I was (and still am at times), they would pay a fortune to get something that will bring them closer to being with the people they love. At times I’ve been very tempted to buy certain products but I end up not doing it for one reason or another.
There’s nothing in this world I want most than to be okay, to love myself, to heal and, of course, to be with the love of my life. I know union with them in the physical is not the goal. The romantic relationship is not the goal, but it helps. If we see more and more twins coming together physically, things will change. I don’t think the universe is cruel and I don’t think it will let you have a taste of the most amazing love in this world only to take it away from you.
I don’t like using the term twin souls or flames. I’ve never liked to use labels because they make me feel caged. Also, I don’t know how many “true” twins are really out there. I knew of at least one claiming to have met their twin and six months later, this person was over their twin. But we shouldn’t judge anyone. We shouldn’t point fingers and decide wether someone’s experience is true or not. In the end, you will feel it deep inside. We are all humans, we are all trying to make sense to what we are experiencing. It is not easy and we all have our ups and downs and we should help each other not bash each other. It is not an easy journey, it’s hard… For me at least. I have no idea how to heal my fears, how to get rid of my blocks. Right now I’m at a very rough moment in my journey. My boy and I are not speaking, at all. I’ve seen him twice in my dreams since he left and none of those times he was friendly… Yet, I knew it wasn’t him, I knew it was my subconscious.
I guess, what I’m trying to really say is that you can get so much confirmation from the outside to know if someone is your twin or not. You can read every blog, you can buy all the products, have all the readings but in the end, you will know. Because this love is just out of this world… And when he and I are apart, that’s when I love him the most, that’s when I can actually feel myself loving him truly and unconditionally. It’s really easy to love someone when they’re around and when they leave, that love tends to fade away. But when they leave and you still feel that love, that’s the real deal… At least that’s how I knew this boy was different from the others. It’s been four years since we met and I still love him like I did since day one, maybe I can say I love him even more.
Our Immortal Souls 